Finding purpose in career and life
One of the experiences that I use in my various LIFElines-based programs is a writing exercise after participants have worked on their four LIFElines. I ask them to review the work they have completed in the session so far and then complete this thought in writing: “I was made for this…”. The first sign of the power of the exercise is the expression on their faces; the second is how they write their answers. Whether the audience is caregivers, team members of a business, seniors, victims of violence or assault, high school students, photographers, writers or any of the many other groups that experienced LIFElines, their writing pace, focus, intensity and emotional response during the session speaks volumes.
To help you understand how we got to that point and why, here’s a short overview. LIFElines are part of a process that I first created 16 years ago to help seniors develop their memoirs. Titled Memories to Memoirs™, I lead groups through four timelines (what I now call LIFElines) of their lives that provide new perspectives on what their lives have been about, and then there are several writing exercises, along with optional sharing, that clarifies understanding. The process is one that people can, and should, re-visit over and over again. Over time, I have developed a variety of LIFElines-based programs that I tweak to the specific needs of the audiences, e.g., strength and courage for survivors, sense of identity and self for caregivers, understanding and connection for couples, etc. A few years ago, I write the book LIFElines: Empowering All Aspects of Your Life to provide people the tools and examples of how to use them for whatever challenge they are facing, ranging from team development for a business to “what to do now?” for a retiree, or from faith development for a church group to finding artistic voice and creativity for expressionists.
No matter the group or the focus of the workshop or presentation, facial expressions of attendees as they write always reveals much. There are often smiles, and tears, sadness and brightness borne in “aha moments.” People find new clarity in the processes and see new clarity in their own writing. They write what they know, and they discover about themselves and their lives when they see what they write in the moment.
The writing itself is sometimes fast, sometimes slow, frenetic or calm, mulled over or regurgitated onto paper. No matter how the words transition from thought to paper, there is a similarity in all the results. People realize that their life experiences have provided them a truly unique blend of skills, wisdom, perspectives, lessons, knowledge, courage, joy and so on; no one has had their life, so no one has the same background that prepares them for the life they are living and will live in the future. People see their innate skills differently, appreciate their skills learned in experience, and realize that amidst all the great attributes that they bring to the table, there is also a calling. There is a unique preparatory sequence that has made them ready for specific roles, challenges and goals in their lives; that sequence is their life.
Life prepares us for much. I believe that everything a person needs in order to have courage, strength, joy, happiness and success in life is available because of the life they have lived, not despite it.
Are you making decisions, harnessing your gifts and focusing your energies because you are called to a job/role/purpose due to life experiences or because you are “merely” qualified for them based on skills, learned and innate? Not everyone can only have their dream job throughout life. I thank my ancestors who toiled in respectable, honest work that was certainly not a pure calling (except for the calling to be responsible in caring for themselves and their families). But no matter what role, job or position in life, there is value in pausing and reflecting to find out how to better align one’s unique calling and abilities instead of simply doing what one is good at. The answers are often hidden in life’s challenges and “failures,” not in its successes and achievements.
A few years ago, I conducted a LIFElines presentation for a woman’s group of friends. She wanted to give them a special gift because of their support and friendship. She chose to give them a new perspective on their lives and meaning. After the “I was made for this…” exercise, a woman on the front row began to cry. She enthusiastically explained how she saw her life of kicked drug addiction, alcohol and subsequent education and faith development had prepared her to be of service to others in similar situations. As she spoke, it became obvious to all that she was developing a more clear vision in her mind of what she was uniquely qualified to do AND how within that was her calling.
It has been said that Mark Twain, minister Ernest T. Campbell and many others have commented that the two most important days in one’s life are when they were born and when they discover why they were born. The search process of discerning the difference between what you are called to and what you are simply good at gets you closer to realizing that second day.