In youth, there is a distraction that, when older, can become an anchor. It can lead to analysis paralysis at all phases of life. It takes a lot of effort to excise it from one’s thinking. It is couldawouldashoulda.  I feel confident that you are familiar with it.

Sometimes it reveals itself clearly, “I coulda been a contender…” (tip of the hat to Marlin Brando in On the Waterfront) or “I woulda done better if only…” or “I shoulda been the one picked for…”. More often, it seems, it is more Ninja-like, moving about our thoughts and plans, unnoticed while wreaking havoc, distracting us from action, giving us excuses for our missteps or failings. Perceived missteps or failings, that is. Usually, those misdirections or missed opportunities are simply parts of life that shape, challenge and strengthen you. Its obnoxious cousin is IfOnly.

Be on the lookout. There’s a lot of talk in society that suggests entitlement to success, riches and greatness, to fulfillment and to a trouble-free life. Such thoughts keep couldawouldashoulda and IfOnly in our minds and keeping us from embracing life.