Finding your niche is like finding your stride…you can’t do it standing still. That is not where the similarities end.
I came to this conclusion after deciding to begin running again. Several decades ago, I ran track in high school. A few decades ago, I coached community club track and cross-country teams, and would run with the team. A decade ago, most of that type of activity gave way to work and life. A couple of weeks ago, I turned 61 and decided to start running again, building over time, of course, so I could run the 800 meters again like the good old days.
A lot has changed since those days, and conditioning – the most obvious loss – is not the only thing missing. I can’t stride! What was once long, graceful, strong strides (even if I do say so myself) are now short and a bit abrupt. But, I will regain my stride (though it will not be and cannot be what it was from 43 years ago) with the appropriate actions that I am taking. Thus, came the clarity on the similarities between finding one’s stride and one’s niche. It doesn’t matter whether the spot you are seeking is in your social life, relationships, career realm, product/service market or … the wisdom holds true.
For the rest of this article, try to pick one area in your life in which you are trying to find your niche and keep it in mind as you go through the realities below.
Just Because You Had One, Doesn’t Mean You Have One Now
Decades ago, I ran the 220 (what it was called when races were in yards, not meters) during workouts, not races, in 26 seconds, and the 440 in 54. I lacked the courage and fortitude to turn those times into what should have been faster than my 2:04 in the 880. Goodness knows, I loved that race. Still do. 5k, be danged … I want to run that race again and I have an idea of how to get there. Finding out that I couldn’t stride out like I used to came as a sad surprise.
Consider the niche (strength, forte, zone, passion … whatever you want to call it) you are trying to find now. It is a common problem for speakers, consultants, service businesses, retail stores … it is a common problem for career choices, geographical locations to live … it is a common problem for fitting in to the social scene, church or community. Face it, we don’t like to be in boxes, but we do like to fit in nicely with our environs and choices.
Think back on the times when you had your niche … you had your stride. What were you doing? Why was it so comfortable? Take some notes on those thoughts. If you try to go back to the former ways, the former location, the former profession, the former anything, it doesn’t mean you’ll be able to jump in where you left off. And the fit of then will not be the same as the fit of now.
Remember, though, why you were so in tune in those days. Use that information to guide your decisions now.
I didn’t run track because I liked to be in shape. I ran because I liked the wind in my hair (it was the early ‘70s, after all); I enjoyed the sensation of speed while taking turns on the track; I felt in synch with the sights, sounds and scents of a track; I liked the feeling of power and of my legs striding and my arms pumping. No wonder I hate jogging! Always have, always will. Once I paid attention, I realized why I failed each time I tried to take up jogging! This return to running is going to take a lot of work because just because I had that stride then doesn’t mean I have it now. Just because you fit in a niche before, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to fit into that niche again.
You Can’t Find it or Fix it by Standing Still
I didn’t find my desire to run again by sitting on the couch; the solutions I have come up with to re-find my stride require particular types of walking, jogging, stretching, stair climbs and so on, so I can get enough of a stride to run my new goal: 3:30 for the 800.
You can’t find your niche researching on the web; you can’t find your niche reading books and articles; you can’t find your niche developing marketing plans for the ideas in your head. You find it through action.
I’ve heard many coaches for speakers proclaim loud and long that “You have to find your niche first.” They offer up worksheets and books to help guide a speaker to his or her niche. Ok, maybe. Well, maybe not. For speakers, a “niche” involves a topic for which the speaker has knowledge and wisdom, but it also involves audiences they enjoy being with, industries they resonate with, locations they like to be at, and so on. I suggest trying a variety of topics (but NOT, “I can speak on anything!” syndrome!) in various markets to help shape, form and position the speaker into an appropriate niche. Finding and fitting into a niche is more than just finding the round peg for the round hole; it is an iterative process of shaping, refining and polishing to assure the best fit.
The same holds true for anything. Whether you seek a niche for married or single life, products or services, topics or expertise, degrees or certifications, vacation destinations or residence … the process is one of shaping, and that takes both action and time.
It Takes Focused Attention, Effort … and Time
The other day, I had a pretty good workout, all things considered. “Good” for today is much better than “good” of decades ago. Things change. And that’s okay. But, the workout was good so my heart and head knew, absolutely knew, that I was ready to stride out and do a modest version of an interval workout. My heart and head were clearly on a different chapter of the “Dion Runs Again” book than my legs; the former were in the middle of the book and the latter were still reading the acknowledgements. It is going to take time invested with focused effort. I will need to build strength first, then stretch my muscles and ligaments to new demands and then stride, stride and stride again until my running becomes stronger, faster and more akin to my goals and expectations. Yes, the same holds true for finding your niche.
When seeking your niche, perhaps the big three are confidence, clarity and courage: the confidence to take action and start the search and the shaping; the clarity of what you are looking for (job, relationship, subject matter, etc.), and the courage keep going, no matter what, and to take the time necessary.
You Can’t Tell What the Past Looked Like by Looking at the Present
I’m pretty sure that when others at the local track or subdivision trails see me walking, running and getting up and down the bleachers, they don’t think, “There goes a runner! Fast, strong, smooth and loving what he does … a runner!” Nope. But, I can’t worry about and neither can you. Even when that person looking at you and evaluating your attempts to find a niche is the person in the mirror.
There were a lot of things we did better in our youth and childhood – I tried to do a cartwheel the other day for my grandchildren. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible, though an inadvertent F-word popped out as my legs decided not to continue their arc over horizontal, and, instead, opted for a vertical drop about two-thirds of the way around. There are a lot of things we do better now than in the past – I think of an 80+ year old man at a local club that loves dancing with almost every woman in the joint to the sounds of live country music … he has a wonderful time as do his myriad partners. Was he that confident and comfortable in his skin 50 years ago? I doubt it.
The point is, that finding a niche may involve tackling something again that you were once very good at, or trying something new that you really weren’t good at.
For my 60th birthday a year ago, I decided it was time to learn how to swim. Though all three of my sons tried to teach me over the years, the lessons never stuck. On my 60th, I had a video taken of me swimming up and down the length of the pool. One son responded to the video with, “You saw that poor old guy drowning in the pool and you chose to take a video of him?” After a good laugh (we still laugh about it), he said, “Proud of ya, dad.” It wasn’t pretty, and I don’t know if I will carve out a niche to be a “swimmer” the way I aspire to again be a “runner,” but you never can tell. Looking at today doesn’t reveal what the past, or the future, looked or will look like.
There Will Be Changes in Conditions and That Will Change What You Need to do
We had a great rain the other day; a real gully washer. The skies cleared enough for me to get to the track for a workout, but the conditions were different. I had to make changes. The metal bleachers were wet, making me less confident of my footing, and the humidity was not Houston’s normal 70% but was now high at 105%! Okay, I exaggerate, but not by much. Things were different and I had to adjust how I ran up and down the stairs (slower and closer to the rail so I could catch myself if I slipped), and how often I sought water to drink.
Things change when you seek a niche. Your age, the people around you, technology, the economy, and your health are just a few considerations that change. Each change modifies your “shape” as you seek a niche to fit into. My gray hair now serves as passport to many groups for speaking that would likely not have been available to me 30 years ago. I enjoy that niche of seniors and elders so much, as they acknowledge and appreciate the beauty of their lives, that I created an entire program of presentations and workshops for seniors, elders and their families. I am very comfortable with them and in their various environs; I found a niche.
Consider the various changes that are shaping you, your knowledge, your interests and your aspirations. Embrace them. They are refining your “shape” to assure a better fit.
Yours is Yours and Not Like Everyone Else’s
60-plus year-olds who don athletic shoes of some type and hit the pavement seem to be few and far between, considering the number of us out there, and my observations indicate that many (a lot!) of them do so with a pet on the other end of a leash during times of exercise. That’s their niche, not mine.
When finding a niche, seek yours, not theirs. Social media and the tidal wave of coaches of all types (yes, I am one, too), have created a lot of pressure on people to do things certain ways (social media pressure of popularity or fear of criticism, and coaching programs that are to be followed so your unique success can look like everyone else’s!). Step back. Pause. Observe what others are doing to find the things to do and avoid as you seek your niche with its special characteristics instead of replicating theirs. There is nothing new under the sun, but it doesn’t mean we should all fall into the trap of “Little Boxes” (Pete Seeger singing Malvina Reynold’s great folk song).
Use Best Practices to Get You Started and Your Self to Refine
Everything starts with the basics. The great Vince Lombardi said that football was just blocking and tackling. Running, according to Tom Hiddleston, is dancing forward. Whatever your niche, learn the basics. It might be the basics of running a business or giving a speech, having a relationship or living the solitary life, developing a service or designing a product … there are basics that are, pretty much, tried and true. From that, make them your own.
Dancing forward? I don’t believe the great Steve Prefontaine would agree. Though he said, “Some people create with words or with music or with a brush and paints. I like to make something beautiful when I run. I like to make people stop and say, ‘I’ve never seen anyone run like that before.’ It’s more than just a race, it’s a style. It’s doing something better than anyone else. It’s being creative,” he also said, “A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more.”
Prefontaine ran right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, but he made the running and the race his own. Learn the basics, then master yourself. Your niche will appear.
Oh, Who Said You Can Only Have One?
Just for a moment, think of fitting into a niche like a cable fits into a hole. It is quite different than how the round peg does. Don’t be the round peg.
Many coaches, consultants, advisors and gurus seem to suggest that you must have the single, singular niche to succeed. I guess no one told Leonardo da Vinci that. You are a complex, complicated, ever-changing, ever-adapting human being. The sheath of the cable is you. Your life. It is a unified, single thing, but it is made up of many elements. Each, alone, is different and can serve a function, though the complete is stronger and more capable than the individual strands.
A runner may have the skills, personality and spirit of a sprinter. He or she developed those over time and with a variety of influences (yet another example of how to use LIFElines). The unique person is the cable, one strand of that person is a sprinter, and within that strand are smaller strands that are the person who runs the 100 meter dash, the 200 and the 400 relay. Is that person’s niche “athlete,” or “sprinter” or “100 meter expert” or “200 meter expert” or “400 meter relay expert” or … ?
Yes.
Granted, the runner above would likely not do well throwing the discus. Narrow the size of the piece to help make a fit, but don’t make it too limiting. Do you want to find your niche like a peg fits a hole, or like an interestingly shaped puzzle piece serves as part of the big picture, which is you and your life?
I share these thoughts after having spent a few years trying to find my niche after deciding a career/purpose path change was in order. I used the advice of various coaches and experts, and allowed their input to often dominate my heart, mind and gut instinct. Seek the truth of others, then use that as a guide; their advice is not written on stone tablets. Neither is mine. See things differently so that you can change perspectives; that will empower you to grow authentically.