A few years ago, not too long after my wife and I married, I was taking care of some projects in the front yard. A little of this, a lot of that, pushing one thing, pulling out others, mowing and sweeping. Some huffing and puffing, and plenty of sweating…all of which I thoroughly enjoyed. One of the neighbors noticed my outdoor activities on this day as he had on previous days, and said, “She keeps you busy, doesn’t she?” I guess he expected a grumbling reply.

I replied with a smile, “As happy as she makes me, it is the least that I can do.”

The neighbor, a widower, lost the smile on his face and replied, “Yeah, I had that once, too.”

I know nothing about his late wife. She had passed away before we moved into the neighborhood. I know my wife and I make each other happy, which inspires us to give more of ourselves, our thoughts and our moments, and I imagine that my neighbor and his wife had similar feelings, thus his wistful comment.

His comment nestled into the corner of my head and remains there comfortably. His few words hid the complexities of his feelings. He wasn’t bitter about his loss, but grateful for what he had. That sounds like a good pattern for everyone in life, which will always be full of joys and sorrows, gains and losses, laughter and tears. Despite it all, be grateful for what we have, but also be generous in what we give. Love is always a two-way street.

I can’t help but ponder how much our lives would be if we thought first of what we can give to others – spouses, family, friends, strangers, colleagues — instead of concerning ourselves of what others give to us. My neighbor’s statement was in the past tense because of what was lived in the present.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my friends.