In our neighborhood it is likely that when taking a walk, you will come closer to more deer than people. On a recent excursion, I noticed that the deer munching a few steps away from me had a couple of scars and a wound that was open, but clearly on a path of healing. Funny thing about animals, they don’t try to draw attention to the wounds they receive in life. They live with them and likely learn a few lessons from the experiences that created the scars.

I have read stories of hunters who name animals they regularly see on camera or from across a field. Sometimes the names came from an abnormality, like the structure of antlers, or from scars. The scars become part of their identity.

So it is with people. Scars, visible and invisible, become part of our character and identity, whether we like it or not. Scars fade with time, but the events that created them still linger somewhere in our memories. People who knew me 40 years ago would have seen a faint scar on my forehead, but would not now. While I don’t remember the incident that created the gash that required the doctor to use a curved needle to close the wound, I remember my mom telling me the story of the event.

Some scars become synonymous with the person. Many famous people are recognized partly by the scars that are visible to the public. I think those marks also reveal that the famous are just like anyone else. No one escapes that which causes scarring.

Years ago, a colleague and I were walking across a university campus. She was looking for a new apartment and roommate, so we stopped at a bulletin board where all sorts of postings were pinned up. One described an opportunity for a roommate. A person would need to be a saint to meet the qualifications that were listed. The woman read part of the terms aloud and chuckled. “That’s not me,” she said. “I come from the scratch and dent shelf.”

Some scars mean little, like the ones that remind me that I really need to pay more attention when my hand is near the hot muffler of a trash pump (three scars and I still haven’t learned avoidance), while others, tell traumatic stories like for victims of violence, survivors of massive injuries or those with PTSD.

Everyone you know is scarred. They have been and will be again. So will you. Perhaps we should be more understanding of each other, and of ourselves.